If you are feeling lonely, you are not alone. Even if it doesn't feel like it.
Most people feel lonely at some point and for many people those feelings of alone-ness can last a life-time.
What is the cause of your loneliness? You may think you know the answer but do you really?
Loneliness is seldom caused by being alone. It is perfectly possible to be married and in the middle of a huge party or at a sociable dinner with friends and family, yet feel totally alone. It is also possible to be completely alone and yet feel perfectly content. Loneliness is not about the number of people around you.
There can be many reasons why people feel lonely. Perhaps a close friend has died and the loss hits you without warning. Or maybe you moved home and miss the familiarity of all that you love being around you. Or perhaps a pet is no longer able to sit on your lap each evening. Or perhaps.....well, perhaps you have no idea why you feel lonely but the fact is that you do.
There is no shame in being lonely. So many people feel that they can not be honest about how they feel and refuse to tell others about it. Yet admitting how you feel can be a real key to overcoming it. In the vast majority of cases, it is only when someone admits how they feel, that those around them suddenly realise what the problem is. Only at that point can they really step in and help.
But it is not all about others. The main person who can help you overcome loneliness is yourself. Decide to do something about it. Decide to change how you feel. Of course, that is not easy to do sometimes but it is possible. If you know you are feeling lonely, make a conscious decision to do something positive. Think of one thing you enjoy and try to do it or get one step closer to it. Phone a friend and arrange to meet - even it if is several weeks from now. Or use your computer to connect with the outside world by playing a game or visiting blogs on subjects you are interested in. Or go for a walk and simply make a decision to say hello to people you pass. No matter how hard those things seem to be before you do them, once you do attempt them you will find that something changes and you are just a little bit closer to feeling that you belong
One of the best ways to overcome your own loneliness is to try and help others who experience a similar feeling. Look for local charities or churches where you can join a team which reaches out to support others. Often you need no experience in order to do this beyond an understanding of what the people you serve go through and a desire to help and befriend.
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